The woman you marry is your partner, not someone to boss around; respect and teamwork are key.
You know, say for this life, once you don marry, e no be “I dey boss you around” style, na more of “we go do am together” vibes. E no matter how the relationship start, once you don marry, the woman wey you marry na your partner, not someone wey you go just dey order around anyhow. Omo, forget all those "I’m the man of the house" talk, because marriage na teamwork, and for teamwork, everyone get role to play. If you dey think say marriage na for you to dey always give orders like say na military camp, then you need reset.
Make I explain better. For most cases, the woman you marry be your partner, not your subordinate. No matter how much you love her or how much she respect you, she still deserves to be treated as a partner wey get her own opinion and ideas. You no fit be the only one wey go drop ideas and expect am to always agree or obey. That na the quickest way to build tension for house. Marriage na about collaboration, adjustments, and finding common ground together.
Imagine say you come back house one day and you tell your wife, “I don decide say we go move house to Lekki.” She go look you like say you dey joke. “Lekki?” she go ask. “How?” Na when you go realize say you need to work together, you no fit just wake up and give order like say you be king wey dey rule land. You go need discuss wetin you both want, make plans together, and find way forward.
The truth be say, when you marry, you no just marry her for the good times. You marry her because you want to build something together. Na why you need to always see her as your equal, your teammate, and not someone to just give orders to. If you treat your wife like your subordinate, no matter how much she respect you, e go eventually turn to problem. The same way you get your own thoughts, opinions, and ideas, so she get hers. The real strength of marriage dey inside the balance of give-and-take, respect, and constant communication.
You go see some men wey go come home, don do small work, and now them go expect their wives to serve them like them be king. "I don work for outside, abeg bring food come for me!" Na real wahala be that one. The woman you marry no be your servant. She no owe you for bringing food for you. She get her own job, whether na work or taking care of the family. The idea na for both of you to find ways to work together, support each other, and help each other grow. Teamwork no be one-sided.
Let’s take the example of how we handle decisions. When you dey make decisions for your home, na not just your own decision, you dey make. Both of you must come together, discuss the matter, and then find a solution. Imagine say you wan buy car. You dey think say you go buy the car of your dreams but you no involve your wife. You just rush buy the car, then bring am home, only for her to look the car and ask, “How we go take pay for this car?” Na when you go realize say you no make the right decision. E good to make decisions together. You no fit just put your own ideas and plans on top her head without involving her. E no work like that.
The funny part be say, some men go still believe say because they be men, their word dey final. When you dey treat your partner like that, e no only affect the relationship, e go affect everything. Men go start to feel like they don lose control of their home when they consider their wife’s opinions, but truth be say, this na how real partnerships work. When you give room for each other’s voices to be heard, you go find say the relationship stronger. Both of you dey balance each other, and at the end, una go make better decisions.
Don’t get me wrong o, being the man of the house no mean say you no fit make important decisions. But if you want your wife to respect your decisions, make sure say you involve her in everything. No dey treat marriage like say na dictatorship. The woman you marry is your partner, no be someone you go just dey throw orders at.
Marriage no dey work well when one person dey always control everything. Both of you get to balance things out, set goals together, and move forward as one. Teamwork no mean say one person dey take over, no. If you always dey push your wife to the background, no matter how much she love you, she go start to feel like her opinion no matter. If that continues, you go see say the relationship go start to break down.
Make I talk about finances too. When it come to money, some men feel say na them alone go handle everything. They go decide say, “I go take care of everything for this house, I don provide for everybody.” But abeg, how that one work? If you no include your wife for decisions about money, wetin go happen when wahala come? Na you go carry all the burden? You go need to work together when it comes to spending, saving, and planning for the future. The money dey go round. Marriage na about balance, no be about just one person carrying the load.
Another funny thing be when men feel say they go carry all the heavy lifting for the house. Imagine say you dey try arrange house, and you go tell your wife, “I go fix this, no worry.” Your wife go look you like say you don get mind. “How many times you don fix am?” she go ask. “I go fix am!” you go reply. But na your partner, not your servant, you suppose work together. If the job pass you, involve her. A relationship dey grow stronger when both of you dey work on everything together.
For marriage to work, you need to involve your partner in all the decision-making. No matter the matter—whether na where to live, what car to buy, or how to fix the leaking pipe—both of you get to share ideas and talk am through. When both of you come together, you fit handle anything wey life throw at you. Marriage no be about one person carrying all the load, na both of you. No be about bossing anyone around. Respect each other, collaborate, adjust when necessary, and keep things balanced. This na the key to building a strong, healthy marriage.
In the end, my brother, the woman wey you marry no be person to be bossed around. She be your partner, your teammate, your equal. Work together, build together, and support each other. Life no dey easy, but together, you go fit face anything. Make sure say you treat her well, because na her wey go stand by you through thick and thin. Always remember say marriage na two people working as one, not one person controlling everything.
